These days I have heard and read a lot about depression
and almost daily I see a post on my Facebook’s timeline regarding this. I am
sure you must have heard and read a lot about it, especially the difference
between sadness and depression. A lot of people give suggestions through their
posts or blogs “what we should do if we come across a person who is in
depression”. Some even post “if you have any problem, share it with me, but
don’t do suicide”. Wooo! The era of social media! I know these people
don’t have any bad intentions; at least they are spreading awareness among us
regarding depression.
But, is this really works? How many of us actually think
very deeply regarding those suggestions? Do we actually have time to listen to
other people’s feelings (apart from our closed ones)? Who cares? Isn’t it?
C’mon we have our life, ambitions, problems, etc. Already there is a lot of
negativity in this world, so why we would listen to other's problems? Hell no!
We are positive people; we care for our closed ones. Sorry, no space for
negativity.
Last year a very shocking incident happened in my life.
I lost the most precious person in my life. I was heartbroken. I wanted a
person to whom I can hug and share my feelings but, there was no one. No one!
In fact, half of my friends don't even know about this. And those who knew,
they were not there with me. I remember one incident, I had a very good friend
who knew about this and asked me something. I cried in front of him and was
about to share my feelings but when I looked at him he was busy in drinking his
tea. I was stunned to see that and controlled my feelings. I shared this thing
with him, he listened and then smiled. I called every person with whom I was
close to but, there was no one who could actually listen and understand. This
opened my eyes and I lost the faith. I came to know I am alone. I don’t have
anyone in my life. After that lot of things happened. In fact, I started
cursing myself because of my looks. I have always been pointed out
because of my looks. I always thought that if a person looked at me perhaps
he/she would be talking about my looks. Laughing at me. Ignoring me. And yes,
this happened a lot of time. I was surrounded with people who used to judge
girls because of their looks. Typical boys. I always told them you should not
judge any person because of his/her looks. But, as expected I was unable to
change their thinking. All these feelings accumulated. I couldn't sleep at
night and cry for hours. I had the fear to sleep alone. Various thoughts used
to ramble in my mind. I actually started searching the signs of
depression. For once, I thought that I should end my life. I was surprised by my
behavior. I was numb. I switched off my phone for three days. At one night I
woke up because something hit my mind and I asked myself, is this I wanted?
Those acclaimed friends really affect me? Will I be able to achieve my dreams
with this vulnerable attitude? Will I be able to motivate others through this
way?
C'mon I am not in a depression, I am just temporarily
sad. And, remember the time people have abandoned me.
Ohh wait, am I a bad person? I have a lot of contacts
still, there is no one who could actually be there with me when I want him/her
the most. Am I really a bad person? Hell No! I overcame these situations.
But, just think for a moment about the things which I
mentioned. These could have been really depressing. I have gone into
depression. Now, some might be thinking what an exaggeration, huh,
seriously, depression? Well, everyone's emotional quotient is not same.
Did you forget about "Deepika Padukone" or "Lilly Singh"?
Well, kudos to these two wonderful women.
I shared my incidents not because I want to gain
sympathy. No! If I wanted that I would have shared those with so many people in
person. I want to highlight the fact that nobody cares. Those posts that give
suggestions or say “don't do suicide, if you want to share your feelings, share
those with me". How many of us actually say this to people around us? Huh?
Nobody think about those people who have lost the faith and actually find no
one when they feel lonely. No guidance. Nothing. Alone. No reason to live. No
motivation. And they are not even aware when their sadness could turn into
depression.
Sadly, the pain can only be understood when someone
goes through this phase.
Thankfully I am not in a depression. And, I will never
be. I have a lot of things to cherish. I am a strong girl. Really crazy. My
zest to motivate people always keeps me alive. And yes, I have a friend who
knows me very well. And above all, I have my "Omnipresent friend".
I conquer those situations all by myself. I
will always be the giggling and crazy person.Thanks to my books, my writings.
Thanks to those people who have inspired me.
But, I know the fact this other world is really cruel
Not everyone's situations and conditions are
same.
And, all a person wants is a true companion, a true
guidance.
